Deepday Madness

a jagged silver tune turns every deepday madness into jewels that you wear
- Bob O'Meally

Last One

5th June 10

Assignment: Biography.

My subject: my roommate. I’m dubbing her K for the purposes of this blog.

In real life, I made the piece into a kind-of-book that requires some flipping and navigating… but I guess, in this venue, it just takes on the form of a vignette-y essay. It’s long, so make your bathroom run now.

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On K

On pink

If an Easter egg were a room, it would probably be K’s. Take one step beyond the doorway of her bedroom, and a wave of pink rushes to greet your overwhelmed eyes. With a few seconds and some feverish blinking, you may begin to take in the occasional patches of light blue that also pattern her bedspread and walls, but the first, blushing impression inevitably persists. Glance up: a string of pink, translucent, and somewhat glittery butterflies adorn one of the corners of the ceiling. Below it, the faces of her friends and family smile goofily from their pink construction paper frames. On the top shelf of the desk hutch, she has filled a mason jar with what appears to be fake flowers; upon closer scrutiny, however, they prove to be a bouquet of flamboyant pens. Fuschia polka-dotted rainboots lay discarded by her armoire, a peek inside which holds no surprises – her wardrobe, though graced with the occasional splash of turquoise or cornflower blue, seems to include every single shade of pink, from magenta to coral to pale rose. An impressive number of dresses hang expectantly from the closet bar, but, in true February fashion, her hamper holds mostly sweaters and jeans, and a vibrant woolen coat graces the back of her chair. Having dealt with the wintry east coast for the better part of three years, K has retained a remarkable amount of Hawaiian springtime in her step.

 

Snow falling on Sophie

            K’s first experience with snow – real-life, icy-cold, falling-from-the-sky snow – was over two years ago, in November of her freshman year. It was 7 or 8 in the morning, and most people were snuggled beneath their comforters in sweatpants and long-sleeved shirts, content to sleep in on a cold Saturday morning… but not K. It was almost as if she had a snowflake-radar; the moment the first flake touched the pavement, her eyes were open and the pink and blue blankets were on the floor. That morning, K could be heard scurrying through the halls in her tank top and flowered boxer shorts, alerting all of third-floor Perkins to the falling of three – no, now, four! – snowflakes from the swirly gray mass overhead, urgently asking for advice on layering techniques, and then rushing outside, head tilted heavenward, to catch a flake on her extended tongue.

            K’s fascination with New England snow persisted through the first real snowstorm of the year… probably due in part to the sudden need for a slew of new clothing. Her favorite addition to the family was the East Coast Staple – the winter peacoat. K’s coat might as well have been designed to her specifications. The product of three separate trips to a seven-story mall, it features slightly puffed shoulders, hits her leg at the perfect length to complement her wardrobe of dresses, and, of course, is berry pink. Upon returning from the third shopping expedition, K unhesitatingly christened the pink woolen newcomer Sophie. A few days later, on a late-night walk from Jo’s back to Perkins, Sophie was baptized in the powdery snow of Power Street; a particularly mountainous snowbank proved too inviting to ignore, and K flung herself (with little concern for the tendency of snow to sink with applied force) into its billowy embrace. She left her first snow angel in that bank, three feet deep, and continued unconcernedly home with a thick layer of ice and snow powdering her back.


On the other side of the world

In spite of having seen countless angels and snowball fights, and even the less enjoyable wintry mixes and treks through wind-whipped ice-crystals, Sophie is still holding strong, currently slung haphazardly over K’s desk chair. K, though, has less of an appreciation for slush-falls in February, having become impatient with the unnecessarily drawn-out winters of New England. She sits at her laptop, tossing the occasional longing glance at the colorful dresses in her closet or dark glare at the descending mist outside the window. From time to time, she clicks on her computer’s Weather Box to justify her irritation with Providence’s flighty climate. True to form, the forecast unhelpfully proclaims temperatures somewhere between 49 and 31 degrees. She rolls her eyes and pulls up the forecast for her faraway home.

K hails from Oahu, where, according to the weather widget on her computer desktop, the temperature unfailingly stays in the mid-seventies. Until the seventh grade, she had not worn a single pair of jeans (a fact she often brings up while sorting through mounds of pants and sweaters on her biweekly laundry day). In fact, till then, her school didn’t even require that students wear shoes – her childhood was apparently a happy blur of bare knees and feet. Now, faced with Rhode Island’s grayest months, K attempts to make do with her daily odes to Hawaii, little bits of her home that she’s transplanted into her school-life. Her bed is pushed up against the windowsill, where it is certain to catch sunlight in the mornings – she likes waking up warm and bathed in natural light, as though from a seaside nap. Adorning her walls are pictures of her frolicking on the beach, lounging by a waterfall, dancing hula… activities that simply don’t translate into the life of a college student in the Northeast. And although she has, since leaving the island, amassed an impressive amount of footwear, more often than not, K walks the dorm floors barefoot.


On the big rock

K speaks of her temperate home and sun-soaked childhood as a grandmother would speak of the first time she fell in love – with a smile playing in her voice and a fondness for the minutiae that an outsider would dismiss. She acknowledges Hawaii’s beautiful beaches and year-round greenery, but admits that she was never one for shimmying up trees. Instead, she focuses on the people who remained with her on the ground. Hawaii, K says, is really just a big rock; in such close quarters, it’s difficult even to go to the grocery store without encountering a familiar face. On one occasion, she tempted her luck, venturing to an off-campus, Expressly Forbidden 7-Eleven near her school during her lunch hour. Upon K’s return home, her mother inquired about her day. Woefully unable to fib to her devoted mother, K promptly spilled the beans about her whereabouts. Her honesty paid off, though, because her mother already knew – Mrs. Lau had spotted K amongst the aisles of the taboo convenience store and called in the transgression. The moral of the story, according to K, is clear: in Hawaii, someone is always watching.

In spite of her failed rebellions, K is a community person; she thrives in close-knit groups, often spinning the threads that bind them together. Whether by holding conversations with the regulars and vendors at the local Farmers’ Market (“Hey, how’s the lettuce today?” “Oh, much puffier than usual…”) or hanging glass Christmas ornaments with volunteers’ portraits around her high school’s service building (her own half-adorable, half-creepy idea), K manages to cultivate groups from unsuspecting individuals. Even at Brown, she has found ways to recreate the original ‘big rock’.

 

Moving on

Her freshman year, K effectively appointed herself Official Unit 14 Cheerleader and Event Planner, organizing Christmas parties and dorm-cooked dinners, Perkins Girls’ Dress Days when the temperature hit sixty degrees, and Official Snowball Fights when there were only three inches of white powder on the ground. Near the end of that year’s spring semester, the entire third floor baked a cake in preemptive celebration of her June birthday and delivered it to her door, along with a number of makeshift construction paper Perkins yearbooks. The perpetually shorts-and-tanktop-clad birthday girl answered the door with her usual smile; two seconds later, less than one line into the rousing chorus of “Happy Birthday”, tears were running down her flushed cheeks. After being momentarily buried in a mass of comforting arms, K resurfaced with the justification for her tears: “I just don’t want Perkins to end!” Within a day, she approached her fellow Perkinites with a gift of her own – a homemade slideshow of the year, complete with a cheesy a cappella cover of a Beach Boys song and exclamation-point-heavy captions – and demanded a group screening. This time, everyone wept.

 

While printed copies of the Unit 14 slideshow photographs still hang, framed and glitter-glued, on the wall of K’s bedroom, the group itself has somewhat disbanded. This natural drift began with the start of K’s sophomore year, despite her best efforts to maintain the bonds of the community. During move-in, she ‘acquired’ the back-pillow of a former Perkinite who was slated to live in a separate dorm for the year. Later, she only half-jokingly explained to her confused housing group that the owner would eventually have to pay her a visit, if only to retrieve his pillow (whom she had by then dubbed Enrique). Effective though her methods were in the short-run, K’s pillow-stealing was simply not enough to reconstruct the atmosphere of the original Unit. Enrique is noticeably missing from K’s current collection of bedding paraphernalia.

 

On staying put

Since her underclassman years, K has mastered the skill of Never Being Alone. She has unfailingly opted to live in a double, with a roommate… that way she always has someone at home to whom she can return (not to mention always having a partner in interior-decorating crime). She also still organizes almost ritualistic bonding-sessions for the groups that have emerged in Perkins’ wake; her most recent feat was the organization of a Princess Party for a small group of close girlfriends, complete with fancy dresses, a playlist of Disney songs and nineties pop, and conversation topics that would make most guys cringe.

Remarkably, K is almost constantly seated comfortably in a serious relationship. In fact, of the two full years she has spent in college, she has been available for only two months. Yet, on a scale from Optimistic to Cynical (with regards to men in general), she has professed that she lies toward the latter half. She genuinely fears that perhaps The One has already come and gone, unknowingly bypassing the perfect, permanently unavailable girl.

Another, as of yet unconsidered possibility is that The One caught wind of K’s wedding plans and, intimidated, scampered off to learn graphic design.

 

On ENGN1930V: Engineers of the Future…

An innocent, girly conversation about the ‘dream wedding’ revealed that almost every detail of K’s Big Day has been meticulously planned out and hand-picked. The eco-friendly, pink substitute-diamond engagement ring, the Cinderella-inspired gown from the Designer Disney collection, and even the two front-running cake designs have all been selected and bookmarked in two or three different web browsers. Indeed, a tour of K’s future wedding could be conducted entirely on her laptop, what with the Sherwin-Williams color-splash site in her browsing history and the recent Google image searches of flower varieties. She has determined that her bridesmaids will wear the bluish green of her dorm-room towels (the same color as the ocean off the Hawaiian shore), complemented by classy leis of white and pakalana green flowers. The bride herself will have a predominantly pink bouquet with white stargazer lilies, to tie her favorite color back into the wedding décor.

As for the groom, K has very particular plans: the lucky man will be a good-looking Pixar animator. As such, he’ll be certain to possess all the qualities of the ‘endearing nerd’, but will still gain his wife access to a plethora of award shows and ballgown-worthy occasions. He must also be willing to return to Hawaii with her, so they can start a little community of their own. And, of course, he must be appropriately appreciative of the color pink.

K, somewhat surprisingly, has yet to bookmark her future husband’s picture in Firefox, but there can be little doubt that she has been keeping an eye on the credits-lists of animated movies for last names that would pair well with her first.

 

More on ENGN1930V: …Architects of Dreams

Still, for someone who has spent a significant amount of time bookmarking wedding dresses and rings on her laptop, K can function impressively well on her own.

 “I hate people.”

She announces her latest revelation huffily as she taps the screen of her aqua-covered iPhone. I sit silently, knowing an explanation will follow shortly. She vigorously relates the situation that produced such a drastic conclusion – something about the other EcoReps failing to think an awareness event through, offering a haphazard proposal for something that deserves more attention, and then emailing her expectantly, hoping she could wave her sparkly fairy wand and make it happen. “Sometimes I just feel like, if I want things to get done right, I have to do them myself.” She interrupts her own rant with a double-take and quick intake of breath at a new email, then emits a series of excited squeals and a couple of elongated ‘ooooooh!!!!’s. “Where should I plant an apple orchard?”

Again, I sit silently.

K proceeds, frustration forgotten. “I just got an email, and this girl planted an apple orchard on her campus, and Ruth’s secretary is putting me in touch with her, and she said we could potentially do it here at Brown, although she also said we should think about the Haffenreffer because there’s just no open green space on campus… but yeah, I think I want to plant it on campus. How about on the Walk? Yes, that would be perfect, I’ll do it on the Walk.”

K is not to be underestimated; she has already procured a set of Walkie-Talkies for the EcoReps leaders (even though they all have cell phones), and is very close to acquiring a department-sponsored golf-cart-esque buggy to traverse Brown’s (unquestionably walkable) campus. There will be an apple orchard.

 

On K’s Facebook:

            Facebook profiles are a strange concept; they require users to distill whole lifestyles and personalities into a few phrases, to parse themselves up into swallowable chunks that fall under the headings of “About Me”, “Interests”, “Music”, and the like. K’s ‘Info’ page is deceptively sparse, but as far as swallowable chunks go, she has chosen well.

The blank box beneath K’s picture – intended as a place for a Facebook user to “write something about [them]self,” but widely considered to be completely pointless – contains a single quote, originally from a Leigh Standley magnet: “I am fairly certain that given a cape and a nice tiara, I could save the world.” The favorite quotations section houses a clichéd, but for K, inescapably applicable quote: “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

She’s already getting there… one snow angel, one stolen pillow, one apple tree at a time.

            But even more revealing and descriptive than her chosen world-saving techniques are K’s ‘religious views’: “I believe in the God that only knows four words.” The God she refers to is from a poem by Hafiz:

The God Who Only Knows Four Words

Every

Child

Has known God.

Not the God of names,

Not the God of don’ts,

 Not the God who ever does             

Anything weird.

But the God who only knows four words

And keeps repeating them, saying:

“Come dance with me.”

Come

Dance.

Another from ENGL0180

5th June 10

This one’s a personal narrative.

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All I Want For Christmas

When I was in third grade, the ‘missing two front teeth’ look was a particularly coveted one among youngsters. There was a small bunch of kids in my class who had simultaneously developed large gaps in the front of their mouths… it was as though, overnight, the Tooth Fairy had gone on a shopping spree (double-or-nothing sale!). Those fortunate enough to have been paid a visit were automatically part of an exclusive society. They were the Chosen Ones, the truly mature third-graders. These lucky kids were ready to join adult society, equipped as they were with ample space for the big teeth necessary to take on the world. They, too, were the cute ones, the ones who could just as easily appear on the box of your morning cereal as in your elementary school classroom. They flocked together, the frontal-gap bearers, aware of their superior status and the newly acquired talents that came with the territory. They hissed when they spoke, sending saliva ricocheting through the newly opened space in a once-impenetrable enamel wall – probably intentionally, as adults went goo-goo over those adorable lispers. They whistled incessantly without ever puckering their lips, flaunting their ability to channel a haphazard stream of air through a hole they didn’t even intentionally make. They wooed unthinking grownups with their soggy speech and disarmingly vacant top row. They boasted, their remaining teeth grinning obnoxiously, about finding two teeth’s worth of quarters beneath their pillows. But most importantly, most objection-worthily, most inconceivably and unfairly, they got to sing in a featured group during my elementary school choir’s annual rendition of “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth.”

Who made this rule? Apparently, at some point in ancient history, some delusional grownup decided that the best possible artistic interpretation of this song would be a literal one, and generations of toothy kids have been paying the price ever since. Elementary schools should foster an open and accepting community, a sense of mutual respect among the entirety of four-foot-tall society. They should not condone ritualistic behavior and the creation of cults. Especially when those cults are based on having a large hole in the top row of your teeth, and not on your demonstrated musical prowess.

A self-proclaimed singer extraordinaire, destined to share the stage with Celine and Mariah on the sacred VH1 special “DIVAS”, I harbored a mouthful of teeth and a body-ful of burning resentment. I wanted to sing in that select group. I wanted to stick my adorable tongue through the adorable gap where my two front teeth once resided and revel in my adorableness at the annual Christmas concert. This was my destiny, I decided – to lisp through a verse and chorus of a children’s song for a holiday I didn’t celebrate, pigtailed and proud among the toothless elite.

From the first signs of looseness, a good month or two before the scheduled performance of my would-be shining musical moment, I dutifully kept my fingers from straying far from my top row. But my front teeth had a strangely intense grip on their gum-sockets, defying the calls of gravity and miraculously resisting the impatient shoves of my tongue. Days of teetering incisors turned into weeks, but for all their wiggling, my uncooperative teeth simply refused to be pried from their comfortable home. Somewhat sturdier teeth began to peep through the space once fully occupied by the loose ones, but still, the originals, now swinging like doors on hinges, stuck around. For an uncomfortably long stretch of time, I had four upper front teeth, an unattractive phenomenon that became increasingly awkward as the new set grew more substantial behind their predecessors. The universe, it seemed, was having a private laugh at my expense (“Let’s give her four front teeth and see what she does!”); meanwhile, I was somehow even further from my goal than before, and much more strange-looking. At this rate, I feared, I would never feel the warm caress of the school’s cafe-gymnasi-torium spotlights – not with too many front teeth and my resulting lack of the requisite cereal box cuteness. With the Christmas Concert looming, it was clear that the time had come for drastic action.

Finally admitting the insufficiency of my insistent finger- and tongue-pokes, I surrendered jurisdiction over my teeth to the dentist. He didn’t even bother to give me novacaine – just grabbed each clingy baby tooth with his latex-gloved hand and, unapologetically, yanked. In two seconds, they were gone, and I was free at last! I rushed from the dentist’s chair to the mirrors in the hallway, dribbling water down my front (I had forgotten to spit), and, hastily swallowing, flashed a smile at my reflection.

There they were. Still. Two front teeth. Only this time, they were permanent, though slightly undergrown. I quickly noticed that the extended residency of the original two had taken its aesthetic toll on my smile; not only did I not have a glorious, full-on hillbilly gap in the front of my mouth, but I had also been left with an unexpected present. My upper row of teeth was now the site of a stunning underbite that would see me through another year and a half of elementary school (and, unfortunately, elementary school yearbook photos).

I didn’t pay too much attention to the inevitable photographic implications of this dental development. I was too distressed about the state of my front teeth – namely, the fact that they were visible. Surely, I feared, that would disqualify me from singing with the gap-wielding select. Still, I noted after closer inspection that the teeth weren’t fully grown in… and that had to count for something, right? And I had just lost my two front teeth… I may not have had a black hole in the center of my smile, but at the very least, I had a metaphorical space, a sorely-missed phantom gap. I reasoned: wearing a strap-on wooden leg wouldn’t diminish the significance of the loss of the real thing, and neither would the timid presence of my back-set permanent teeth.

With this logical argument soundly in place, I returned to choir practice ready to fight for a position in the toothless ensemble. Despite encountering some opposition from skeptical teachers (“Really? You don’t seem to have as noticeable a gap as some of the other kids–” “BUT I LOST MY TEETH I SWEAR IT THEY JUST TOOK FOREVER TO FALL AND–”), I managed to weasel my way into the ranks of the privileged, frontal-space-sporting vocalists. During the actual performance, my voice soared through my underbite as loudly and liltingly as the others’ through their gaping holes, and with as much projectile saliva on the line “Sister Suzy sitting on a thistle” as the next person. I stretched my grin wide, showing off my phantom gap as I sang:

All I want for Christhmasth isth my two front teeth,

My two front teeth,

Sthee my two front teeth?

Gee, if I could only have my two front teeth,

Then I could wish you Merry Christhmasth!

ENGL0180 - Creative Nonfiction

5th June 10

I figured that I may as well post a couple of pieces from my creative nonfic class this semester… the prompt for this one was to write about something you love, but without using any personal pronouns.

I wrote about markers. No surprises there.

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Aisle 3 Royalty

Here, browsing is a pretense. Even attempting to meander seems pointless; all aimless paths eventually converge into an undisguised beeline for Aisle 3. Anonymous products, stacked high on sterile shelves, blend together as the carpet picks up speed beneath one-track-sneakers. Yellow sale tags whiz by unnoticed – piles of candy vie unsuccessfully for a passing glance – notebook pages flutter from the sidelines – a sharp left turn reveals the waiting aisle, the carpet blurs faster, and then, everything stops.

There they are, straight ahead, packed tightly into a case of enticingly shiny plastic. They are impeccably ordered and perfectly aligned. Under the fluorescent lights, the colors of their elegant caps blur together into a bright smear of rainbow against a dull patchwork background. Their hidden felt tips are gloriously free from the black ink-stains of age and misuse, just waiting to spill their vibrant secrets.

Even in their pedestrian packaging, they are breathtaking, almost magnetic. They are, irrefutably, superior.

In every CVS, they hang nonchalantly above the other marker sets, stealing attention from their measly eight-pack neighbors. These are, after all, the undisputed royalty of coloring apparatus. Other markers stretch patience with their limited lifespans and isolated shades. These markers stretch imagination. Most marker sets envision the world in just eight tones, but not this one. These markers streak the surroundings with a luxurious twenty hues, splitting blues into aquas and ceruleans and supplementing reds with maroons along the way. A day with this set of markers transforms the defenseless owner from a shopper into a synaesthete, fresh-eyed and subject to the whims of twenty vivid puppeteers.

Be aware – these markers are not for the meek. They demand to be used, and to be used towards much greater ends than mere coloring books and nametags. There’s no use in trying to exert control, because these markers overturn all familiar human-to-drawing-implement relationships. Once marker meets fingertips, no surface is safe. When asked to ‘color inside’, they shun lines and crave walls. They itch to trace patterns onto freshly-washed hands. They beg for margin-space, then inevitably spill over into once-pristine notes, like a raging river through a chipped dam. They take no rest. They inspire, they frustrate, they drive, they dribble; they do everything but submit to staying untouched in their shiny plastic covering.

These markers call the shots.

The artist is merely the naïve minion who dared to remove the twenty-pack from the rack and place it in a waiting shopping basket.